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Thursday, April 30, 2009

School of Hell

This morning, as usual, I go to school. While I am on my way to school, I feel like I am on my way to hell.

As I am walking into the school gate, I imagined walking into the hell gate. Then I see a very big and very fat guy, who looks like a executioner. Then I see a person carrying a very big bag, which seems like his bag is full of dangerous weapons.

I continued my way into my class. The teacher will be the judge of hell, and when I step into the class, judgement and punishment awaits me.

I feel that my life in school is horrible, especially with presentations. I really hate presentations. I rather die to have presentations.

Today after school, the whole class had gone for a talk. The talk is about our project. After hearing the talk, I feel very scared. The project sounds very scary. Not only we are going to write 2000 words, but we cannot copy from websites too,as there is a program to check.

I am a little worry at this moment. How am I going to survive? Can I pass this project? If I dfail this project, I will not be graduating anymore. It is so scary.

Also, we have to complete certain number of talks before we can graduate. My talk is not completed yet. There is still a very long way to go. I feel very sad. Why does this school has to set all those funny and useless school rules?

I really hate these stupid rules. This is a stupid school. I hate this school. Life is very unfair. I should not even come to this school at all.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Lost of talent


Today,we are doing microbiology in school. The reason is because we are doing science course, so everything we do are all science. Today's lesson is quite interesting, because I learned a lot about bacteria, and I have learned how they work.


Today as usual, I am very quiet. I did not talk within my group. In my team, there are 2 foreign girls, and 2 fatties, one male one female. The most quiet ones is me. They are all talking about the discussions, except me, I am a loner.


During the second break, I am being given a task to do for my presentation, and I have to find research on it. I am doing about the structure of the bacteria, the shapes of the bacteria, and its functions.


Today I am very hardworking i my work,and I focus mainly on the structure of the cell, and I did a lot of efforts in researching it.


After finding all the researches, I feel very confident of doing my presentation, and hope to show some impression towards the teacher.


After I completed everything, my teammate suddenly said that one of my slides is similar to hers, and she wants to do mine. But tht is the slide I am putting most efforts on. If she takes it, I will be left nothing much to say for presentation.


I agreed to let her take the slides. Maybe I am out of my mind to give it to her. I done a lot of preparations on this slides. If I give it to her, all efforts will be gone.


Maybe I am just too kind. I actually give it to her. In order not to waste all my efforts, I told her that there are notes below the slides which I have typed out. Those are all the researches I have made.


During presentation, she did not say any of my points at all. I am very angry, and I regretted giving it to her. But al is too late. If I am presenting that slide, I could have say more. Maybe she thinks that I am too quiet, so she thinks that it is better to say it herself. But I wanted to improve myself, I want to try to adapt to this stupid school environment.


Thinking that I could greatly express my talent at this good chance, but I actually throw it away. I do not know if there will still be other chances of me expessing my talent. Maybe this is my fate. Life is fated that I will not do well in anything.


I really hate school. There is no way I am able to adapt to this school.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Miserable school life

My school life is so miserable. When I am sitting in this classroom, I feel very lonely and ignored. Why does life has to be so unfair to me? Why do I have to come to this school that I do not even wish to come at all? What have I done wrong?

I have a friend who has the same result as me. But he is able to go to a better school, bu only me, I have to come to this lousy school to suffer. This school has presentations everyday. I really hate presentations. I feel like dying in school. Everyday I feel the same.

In this class, I am very quiet. I know you all my think that there is nothing wrong, but the problem is that this school cannot be quiet at all, because we have presentations and teamworks. If you did not study in this school, you will never know how I reall feel. In this class, or rather in this school, I really feel like a criminal.

I really hate this school, and I really regret coming to this school. If only I had study harder in secondary school. Lessons in secondary schools are so easy. What we only have to do is to sit in the class and listen to what teacher is talking. I really regret for not listening to the teachers carefully and attentively.

If only at that time I had pay full attention to my secondary school teachers, maybe I will be getting more better results, and I will be going to better schools rather than coming to this school to suffer.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The mouse dream


Last night, I had a dream. I dream that I have a pet mouse again. Few days ago, I also make a dream, and I also dream that I have a pet mouse. I do not know why I keep having the mouse dream. Is the dream trying to tell me something?


My house do not have any pet mouse, or I did not kill any mouse or torture any mouse, why do I keep having mouse dream?


Recently I keep having a lot of dreams. Maybe I think a lot in day time, and imagine a ot in day time.


Today in school, the teacher release me at 8pm, and I reach home at 9pm. That stupid teacher said that I do not understand the lesson at all, and he make a few of us stayed back till 8pm. I have never ever go home so late ever. These stupid teachers. If they are inside an empty room, I am going to lock them inside, and make them stay overnight in that school. School is a really horrible place to me.


My presentations is once again very lousy. I really hte presentations. I wish that this school will not have presentations, but I know it is wishful thinking, because this school is also famous of its presentations. It is said to be the only school which had presentations every single day.


I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really hate this school.

Monday, April 20, 2009

First day of school, first day of hell







Today is monday, which is also the start of my hell school. In the morning, I have to wake up very very early in the morning. I feel very tired, but I have no choice.

Today when I am taking the bus, I accidentally put extra money into the bus tin. I regretted that. Because the bus is very crowded, and there are still a lot of people behind me, so I have to be a little hurry, if not people behind me will scold me.

After paying extra money, I do not extra benefit at all. There is no seats in the bus left. So I have no choice, but to stand. The bus is very very crowded, and I even hardly have some space, and I can hardly move too.

After an hour, I reached my school. I walk into my school, and trying to find my new class. Before entering the classroom, I have a little stomachache, so I went into the toilet. After a few minutes, I am feeling more comfortable, and I search for my new class.

After finding my new class, I walked into my new class. I see all unfamiliar faces, I tried to relax myself, and not feel nervous towards these classmates, as I do not know how they are like, whether they are gangsters or not.


I make a glance around my class and see that these classmates does not look really bad, and there are no gangster faces around, so I feel a little relief. But what I really hope is to hope that there can be a weak student in class, so that I can have some positions in my class.

I am a very quiet person, so today, it is still the same of course. I did not talk in class, but I pretended that I am looking for informations in the team. I really wanted to say something to make them feel that I have done at least something, but I am afraid that my points I contributed might be unnecessary to them.


Nothing much I had do in school today. I feel that I am not doing any work. This school is really not for quiet people like me. At first I can go to other schools, but maybe because other school's slots have no more, so they put me into this school. My friend has the same result as me, but yet he can go into a very good school, but I cannot go to the good school. I feel that life is really very unfair for me.


Everybody says that my school is the most lousiest school, and they come to this school because they do not have a choice. This school is not even in my choice.


In this school, we have to do teamwork and presentation. I am weak at these 2 things. I am a very quiet person so teamwork is definitely not for me. Presentation requires speaking too. My life is very miserable in this school.

Today, there is a classmate who said to me, " Are you always that quiet?" She said it so loud everyone look at me. I replied with a yes, but I do not really know whether it is even the appropriate answer. I do not know what to say when encountered with this question. Life is going to be more hard in my class now, as everyone already knows that I am very quiet person.


I really regret coming to this school. I never regretted studying, but I regret coming to this school. I really wish that time can reverse. I want to be switched with my friend. I want to do more better in my exam to qualify to better school. But all is too late now. I can only regret now.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Tomorrow is the start of school










Today is 19 April 2009. My school starts tomorrow. I am very depressed. I really hate this school. It is not that I do not want to study or whatever, but it is because I hate this school.

I really regret coming to this school. In fact, this school is not even in my choices, but yet the government put me into this school instead. The reason is because they say that my results does not fit the other schools. But I feel that this is unreasonable. All my other friends have almost similar results as me, but they all can go better schools than me, only I have to be stuck in this stupid school.

The reason why I hate this stupid school is because this school has presentations everyday. Unlike other schools, they do not have presentations every single day. This makes me very depressed. I am a very quiet person, so I rather die than to have presentations.

Some more, in this school, teachers does not teach. We have to find informations for ourselves. That is very terrible. Why should there still be teachers if they do not even want to teach? That is the reason why I hate this school. This school always work on temwork, and my teammates are not really good at cooperating for some. They say that I do not do anything at all, and insist me on doing. I really hate it. I do not really mind if they ask me to d work, but they should not say that I did not do anything. That is very mean.

Last night I have made a few nightmares. Not one, but a few. Maybe it is a reminder to me that school is going to be very horrible. The first nightmare is that I dream that my house have alo of ants, and all my house's things moved because of the ants carrying it. We see all the foods moving. When we look closely, it is actually ants moving it. We decided to track the ants and see where they go, and we can find their nest. I am shock to see that the nest is actually in my room, and there are a lot of ants on the floor.

The second nightmare is that I dream that I have a pet rat. After a while, it has died. I cannot remember how it died, but I keep have one feeling that I tortured it, eventhough I could not even remember anything at all. After a long time, it actually revived. We are all very shocked. When it revived, all its body has wounds, blood wounds, injured wounds, and part of its skin in its body are being teared off, it is like whole body s full of wounds, and at that time, it seems to be very fierce and violent, and when we catch it, it tries to shake very violent, and trying to bite us.

The third nightmare is abot a girl being tortured. A girl had been tortured by a lady, and she keep torturing her, and she somehow looks like half dead half alive, and it is very scary, and she even had a club poked right through into her nose, and it looks like her whole nose is gone. She is bleeding a lot, and a lot of wounds on her body.

She tries to seek revenge towards the owner. She slowly crawls into the owner's room, and just as she is about to kill the owner, the owner manages to escape off. Whether the girl is still living, or she is already dead and become a ghost, I do not know either.

All these nightmares happens on just one night. Recently I had a lot of nightmares, and I do not know why, maybe there is something bad going to happen soon. Could it be the asia's tsunami on the 22 July 2009? or could it be school?

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Premonition?




Today when I am watching the television news, I seen an article which says that on the 22 july 2009, there will be another tsunami. This tsunami is going to affect most of asian country, including Philippine, Indonesia, malaysia, singapore, vietnam, Laos, cambodia, thailand, myanmar, and even korea and japan. They say that most of the asian country will be affected.


Some people said that this information is fake. But the news said that the tsunami falls on a day of an eclipse. Scientists went on to investigate, and found out that there is really an eclipse on that day.


After that, the news showed a map. The map is very familiar. I know I have seen it before a few days ago, but I do not remmber where or how I see it. I tried to search around my house for the similar map, and tried to find back the same similar map. But I have search all of the newspapers, checked whole of my mails, visited every other websites that I once go, and asking around my friends, and yet, I could not find back the article which I have seen. I could not remember how I actually see that article. No one showed it to me, but I just see it by chance.


Then I begin to suspect that it is one of my dream, because some of my friends said they dream of future events before. Like for example the things that we dream are going to happen in real life.


I do not know whether these things are real or not. Or will there really be tsunami or not, but I just pray that I could be fine.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Holidays ending soon




My holidays is going to end soon. I am so disappointed. My school starts next week. My brother already started school today. Now we are having our year end holiday, so it is quite long, but although it seems long, but now it is ending already. I donot like school, because school to me is like hell.

I always get ignored in school, and nobody talks to me. If I meet worst classmates, they want me to do every single thing, but in the end, they are the ones getting all the credit. Sometimes I do a lot of things, but because I am a quiet person, they tend to make use of this to make teacher believe that they are the one doing everything. All my classmates are very cruel and very evil.

Whenever teacher want us to do teamwork, they will do it all by themselves, and leave nothing for me to do. When it is something hard, they want me to do it. Teacher always said that I do not do anything at all. I am very angry. But there is nothing I can do. I just have to tolerate this for 2 more years. I just pray that I can successfully graduate, and forget all about school stuffs.

If someone wants me to choose between the hell army and school, I would rather choose to go for hell army than to choose school. School to me is really horrible. My school is like no discipline at all, and there are a lot of gangsters inside the school. At least hell army has a lot of discipline inside, and people will not anyhow do anything to us.

Maybe I am just unlucky, but all my classmates that I have met, all are not really nice, which makes me always anti-social in school, eventhough I d not want to.

All my classmates seems to be doing things among themselves, and do not wish that participated, maybe it is because my results is not very good. When I conributed points to them, sometimes tey do not even put it in. I feel that it is very unfair for me. If they do not wish to have my opinion, why should I even waste my time doing all the things for them?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Internet company





This evening when I am watching TV, somebody knock on the door all of the sudden. I thought it is my brother, so I went to open the door. To my surprise, it is not my brother, but it is someone from the internet company. I do not know why the internet company wants to find us. She asks a lot about our internet stuffs, and it seems like she is trying to ask for more information.

I thought it is just a salesperson trying to introduce the internet product. But we already have internet, and I already told her I have internet. Why would she still want to ask me for more information? I am afraid that if I leak more information, my father will scold me, becauseI m alwys the one getting into trouble. So I told her that I am not the one signing up fo the internet, and it is my father who is signing up for the internet, and I told her that I do not have any knowledge about these internet stuffs, and is unable to contribute more information.

I thought this could chase the salesperson away, but instead, she said that she is going to come again. At this point of time, I feel really scared. I do not know what might happen if she return again. Did we do anything wrong? If it is just ordinary salesperson, why does he wants to come back again? Moreover, we already have the internet. Why do they still look for us?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Birthday!!




Today is April 8, which is also my birthday. But on my birthday, other than some friends saying happy birthday to me, there is no more special things happening on my birthday. We do not hold any celebrations because we are poor, and I feel that there is no need to hold any celebration.

Thos friends who said happy birthday to me is onl those friends online, as for real life friends, no one even called to say happy birthday to me. Except all my families could still remember my birthday.

They do not give me any gifts, except my father give me some money.

Actually I do not really wish for anthing, but I am happy that they do not forget my birthday.

By the way, today is my uncle's birthday too!!!