Haha...finally!!!! It is holidays!!!! I am so happy. I have to wake up so early in the morning, and take the stupid bus, and travels for about an hour, and to go to that school and sitting at that boring classroom and almost half asleep, and sittting there for about 8 hours, and sometimes I even have to stay in school till 6pm to finish all my assignments, and when I reach home, it is already 7.30pm.
School days are always boring. Sometimes when I look at the question, and I think for almost half a day, I still could not solve it. Because of my super lousy english, Sometimes what teachers said, and sometimes what classmates teach me, I am still very confused. But if I still said that I do not understand, maybe they will get very pissed off and very angry. Ido not want them to get angry, and thinks that I am a stupid person, or whatever comes to their mind. So I said that I have understood, and still, trying to figure out what it really means.
The teachers always confuses me more. Because teachers have super good english standard, and they always confuses me more. I am good at my second language and my main language, and I am very weak at english. I hate studying english, but I have no choice. As english is a international language.
Everytime when I learn english, I think of british, and then I begin to hate british. If british do not become strong, and conquer almost the entire world, we do not hav to learn english anymore. During world war 2, our country is very very useless. If not maybe we can have our own choice of languages, and we do not have to speak even a single english word.
I love chinese. I even had a dream of writing a chinese novel. This dream had been gone at secondary 4 as I think that it is almost impossible, and it is better to face reality. But when I am in College, I meet a few foreign friends, and they told me that their dream is also writing novel, and they had been writing several novels, but they did not publish out.
Although I am not born in china, but I have always love chinese martial arts novels and the story of it, and as well as the TV shows. My dream is to write one of those novels.
The reason why I would want to write those novels is because when I am free, I always love to day dream about all these stuffs. Because our family is poor, we could hardly have any entertainment in our house. I always admire those people who have computers and TV games at that time. But in our house, we do not have anything at home at all. Luckily we still have TV at home. Other than TV, nothing else at home. After watching TV, I somehow get some inspiration there, and started imagining many things. Slowly, it developed into a story in my mind. Since my chinese compositions is also very good in class, so that is why I decided to write chinese novels. I also imagined a character in my mind, and imagining the character is me. This character had been always in my mind, and walk through with me in my childhood. Writing this novels will make me feel that my childhood is not a waste, and also remind me of my childhood.
I do not know whether I will succeed in writing it. I have done a few plannings about the story, but I have not yet started writing them. I have not touched chinese for years, and I am afraid that if I do not start now, my chinese will get weaker and weaker.
When I look at the chinese martial arts novels content, I feel that their chinese standards are far too high. It is not that I cannot understand, but it is the way they expressed it. It is very good, and I could tell that their chinese level is very high.
I can never be their match, and most chinese novelist are from china, and they definitely has very good chinese. I am not from china, and I am not born in china. I am very scared that my chinese skills does not meet the requirement. Afterall, my chinese is not the highest in school or whatever. I do not know what I should do now. Should I go after my dreams of writing chinese novels, or just step onto reality path?
天 人 地 金 木 水 火 土
